The SWAT team (I think it was a big green vehicle) drove straight down my cul-de-sac and parked outside my peripheral view.
The phone rang again.
“Hello?”
“Hi this is officer so and so again.”
“Oh, hello” listen by this time, I am not a dead man I do have some kind of sixth sense, my heart is RACING! I figure that my neighbor has made some kind of accusation against me and I am about to spend the night in jail.
“Hey do you mind coming outside and talking to us for a while about what happened earlier, we have a couple of more questions.”
“OK.”
I was FREAKED OUT, I had kind of expected them to maybe come back and ask to look around my apartment, but this was on another level.
“Can you just come out and slowly walk down your stairs?” Are you alone?”
“Ya, I'm alone. I will come out.”
I set down my cell phone and headed out my front door, leaving it ajar and unlocked behind me in case they wanted to search the place.
“PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD”
I comply.
“PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD AND WALK BACKWARD THIS WAY”
I do my best to comply.
I am dressed in shorts and a lime green t-shirt with a a rainbow tie-dye bandanna around my neck! I wish I had a picture of it! (If you are one of my neighbors and you you have video please send!!)
They back me up to the SWAT van and cuff me, read me my rights, and question me!
This is the first time in my life I have ever been handcuffed!
To their credit, the man closest to the van had his assault rifle pointed towards the ground, not directly at me.
There was probably every other cop in the city that DID have their guns pointed at me. They were all over the place. Kevlar vests, temporary bulletproof mobile shields they were hiding behind, the works.
They even flew a drone outside my bedroom window to see inside.
They asked permission to search my place. I said they could. I wanted them to set their minds at ease. There are times when I might have said no. This wasn't one of those times.
“Do you own a gun?”
“No, I don't like guns and I don't own one.”
I told them they would probably think I was up to something because my apartment was really messy and I was in the middle of all those home improvement projects. I told them I had been making noise like drilling and sawing, but nothing really loud like firing a gun or anything.
They seemed to loosen up after a while, I told them about the disturbances my neighbor had been up to and they kept questioning me about what the noise sounded like and where it came from.
I missed my golden opportunity to say. “It sounded like Joe Biden just picked Kamala Harris to be Vice-President! BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!”
It probably wouldn't have gone over too well at the time, but they might have seen the humor in it later.
I picture them laughing their asses off afterward, having to fill out the paperwork and describe my rainbow bandanna!
Funny thing, I had actually been thinking about getting arrested and handcuffed recently, maybe at one of the BLM protests, but I never went. (full disclosure I am Irish, Basque, German, and part Mexican but I appear very white.) After being SWATTED* today though, I am cool for a while. Maybe I can cross getting arrested off my bucket list next year.
If I WAS arrested, I would have a rainbow bandanna mugshot that I could treasure forever, and post to this blog. I am wearing it now. I think I will never take it off maybe it saved my life! Tie-dye forever Rainbow Ray?
To be continued?
*The term SWATTED is used loosely in this story, it may or may not refer to having someone call a SWAT team on you on purpose with false accusations.
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